Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The dick lei will go down in squad history
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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