yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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