The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
