I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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