Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
