I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
