I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
