yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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