D3 body, D1 cock
Do vagina's smell?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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