I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
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After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Hippo gnu deer
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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