i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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