I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
