If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize