Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
