So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
