Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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