And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
