I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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