Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
