not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
