there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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