well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
