Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
