the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
