i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
