ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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