Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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