I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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