therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he puts the penis in happiness.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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