hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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