He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
My life is pants optional.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
