I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
