AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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