I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just had sex on a roof
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
