There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
