I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
