I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
