I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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