I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
