Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
