turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
