I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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