These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
