Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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