I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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