Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
