Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
