if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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