Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
