i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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