Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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