D3 body, D1 cock
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
