Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
