Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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