loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
we're so committed to being not committed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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