I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's shark week go big or go home
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
