The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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