We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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