tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
